I’ve heard other people talk about it all my life, but I wasn’t prepared for it to hit me.
I’m talking about the realization that I’m past my prime. My glory days are behind me. I no longer have endless energy and stamina; I’m no longer invulnerable. And I’m only 26.
Cue quarter-life crisis.
Being a dad changes a lot of things. You probably won’t hear many men talk about this, but it’s harder to feel sexy once you’re a dad. I don’t know if it’s the fact that I’m way past the point of trying to catch a woman, or the fact that I’m busy helping my wife chase a toddler all the time, but at some point in the past two years I stopped feeling like I was 18. Instead of looking in the mirror and saying to myself, “Yup, you still look good” I’d look in the mirror and say “When did I become pale and scrawny and lumpy?” Most people probably wouldn’t notice, but to myself, I looked like Gollum. A tall, weak Gollum. And sometimes, when we looked through old pictures from a few years ago, my wife would look at my pale, scrawny arms and sigh sadly, a little bit.
I looked good in 2007.
But this year, I’ve been getting my “sexy” back. And right now, I’m probably about a month away from being in the best shape of my life. Here’s what’s been working for me:
1. Get a Buddy
As most people do, I made a New Years Resolution to start working out again. Every week from January to March I told myself that I would start the following Monday. I never did, until I started working out with my friend Wooddy. Now, every morning when my alarm goes off at 6:01 (and then 6:16 and 6:23), I know that if I’m not at the gym by 6:45 he’s going to say mean things about me and insult my masculinity. But more than the fear of being called a “girly wimp” on Facebook, working out with him has made mornings fun. Between sets on the weights, we talk motorcycles, family, Jesus, and how ripped we’re gonnna get. After we’re done lifting, we sit and drink coffee for 20 minutes before heading off to work. It’s a great way to start the day. And it’s effective too; in the past three weeks I’ve only missed one day. There’s a verse in the Bible about how two friends can help each other, because if one falls down the other lifts him up. That’s how it is at the gym, too.
I delivered my wife’s baby that day. No excuses.
2. Get Good Food
The guy who owns the gym has been giving us some pointers on getting big, and has been really helpful. A few weeks ago, though, he really got on my case for my diet. Like I said, I’ve always been able to eat as much as I want with no consequence, so I’ve never given much thought to what I put in my stomach. But when Shaun asked me if I was getting enough protein, I just shrugged. I had no idea. He said, “Well, how do you expect to build a house if you don’t have any idea how much lumber you have?” I had to admit, he had a point. So I went home and downloaded the “Muscle Gain” app on my iPhone and started tracking my protein intake. As it turns out, it’s really difficult to get 200 grams of protein a day. You have to be really intentional. Slamming protein shakes even when I’m not thirsty, eating peanuts and cheese and turkey even when I’m not hungry. I even went to the organic store and bought hemp seed, which I eat by the spoonful. It’s not bad.
But something strange, and cool, has happened as a result of working out consistently and paying attention to what I eat. My appetite has changed. If you know me, you know I could eat burgers and fries three meals a day every day and never get tired of them. But when I went to Chili’s this weekend, I glanced at the burger and then ordered chicken with beans and rice. It even had the little green star next to it that means “healthy option”. This wasn’t a do-what’s-right-even-though-you-don’t-want-to moment, either. It was what I wanted. As it turns out, the more I eat healthy(er), the more I want to eat healthy. Plus, I’ve got a lot of hours invested at the gym, and I don’t want to sabotage that at home by what I eat.
This is how I track my protein intake.
3. Get Inspired
As Thomas Edison once probably said, “Sexy is 90% mental.” When I’m feeling good about how I look, I want to hit the gym even harder. When I get my summer tan on, I know I feel better about myself. One disadvantage of graduating from college and getting a real job in an office is that it’s hard to get a natural tan. I’ve had to be intentional about getting outside. But getting rid of the “Gollum pale” has made me a little happier about looking in the mirror. I’ve also started only wearing shirts that make me feel good about myself. Specifically, tight t-shirts that make my shoulders and arms pop. When I wear that and look in the mirror, I want to go harder. When I wear baggy shirts with the sleeves flapping in the breeze, I get discouraged and want to quit. So I don’t wear those shirts. I also bought some new sneakers.
Getting our recommended daily allowance of Vitamin D.
4. Get Back Up
This is not the first time I’ve tried to hit the gym hard. I did P90X for six weeks last fall before I fell out of that habit. This spring, Wooddy and I hit the gym for three weeks and then I crashed my motorcycle and we stopped for a month. Getting back in the habit was really hard. There were a few weeks where I only went one day, or two. But there’s a place in the Bible where it talks about a righteous man falling down seven times and still getting up again. And now we’re starting our fourth week of five-days-a-week training. Once you’re in the habit, it’s easier to stay in the habit.
The best part of this is seeing results. After about two weeks, people started noticing. Then I started noticing. Now I’m in a good rhythm, and feel like I might get through this part of my quarter-life crisis after all.
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